Be Nice, Marc

What are you pissed off about, Marc? Anything? Everything? I hear you, man. I'm feeling like that right about now too.

I was told by that darling hubby of mine that I had an appointment with my rehab doc today. Not that kind of rehab, kitties. It's for my ankle. The same ankle which is the reason I am still on medical leave. Anyway, I called for directions and I was informed that they had never heard of me! I had no appointment with their office! Arrrgghhh! What does this mean? Well, it means I'll have to wait until Thursday for when I see my podiatrist to see when I can return to work. This shit sucks balls.

If, Part IV

I am such a loser! I missed clinical today because I didn't get to sleep until 5:00 am. It was totally my fault too because I took a nap in the middle of the day. I was depressed that Mel and I fought on Saturday night (he accused me of not respecting his time) so I slept on Sunday afternoon. Anyway, here are more "If" questions and answers (I'm really liking this --- so what if it's lame?)

If you could have one person from history live his or her full life over again, starting now, who would you pick?
I don't fully understand the question, so I'm skipping.

If you could have personally witnessed one event in history, what would you want to have seen?
The wedding of Charles and Diana. I was a big fan of Di.

If one of your parents was to be a famous person from any time in history, who would you want them to be?
Oprah, fo sho. In case I haven't done a good enough job conveying it, I'm a big fan of wealth and fame and wished I had it.

If you could receive one small package this very moment, who would it be from and what would be in it?
It would be from Harry Winston jewelers and it would be the 6-carat pink diamond engagement ring that Jenny from the block used to rock.

If, Part III

Just came back from picking up breakfast at Atlanta Bread Bakery and I'm still not quite ready to begin writing my paper. So I figured I'd post more "If" questions and answers.

If you could have permanent possession of any single object in the world, what would you want it to be?
It would have to be the 45-carat Hope Diamond. It's absolutely freakin' beautiful and it would look just mahvelous on me. Besides, can you imagine how much money I would make taking that jawn on tour? It would be insane!

If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick?
The "Kill Bill" trilogy for sure. I would have loved to have trained for all those fight scenes, reportedly all done by Uma with zero help from any stunt doubles. Some of the filming was also done in China and Japan and I think I would've enjoyed that.

If you could return for one year to one age in your life, knowing what you know now, to relive that year as you wish, which year would you go back to?
Most definitely 2002 when I was 29. I think I had the most fun that year in that age and knowing what I know now, I could certainly make that year even more fun.

If you had to identically repeat any single year of your life to date, without changing a thing, which year would you relive?
1984. That year, my family came to live here in America, I first met my grandfather and most of my cousins and got reacquainted with my grandmother and my cousin Frank.

If you could be sculpted by any artist in history, who would you choose?
Fredric Remington. I know he mostly did Western-themed sculptures and nothing about me is associated with the wild, wild West, but I think I would look totally rad in bronze done by him.


If you were to have your entire wardrobe designed for you by a single cloting designer for the rest of your life, who would you select?
Tom Ford. I've admired him for a long time and have enjoyed his work for Gucci. His designs look wearable and has an urban edge to them which I just love.

If you were to be stranded forever on a desert island and could have only one book to read, which would you want?
It would have to be a book with thousands of pages (I'll be on the island forever, remember?) and covered a lot of different topics (so I won't get bored) so it would be a volume of "The Encyclopedia Britannica".

If you could say one sentence to the current pope, what would it be?
Hello.

Rock on Witcha Badself!

Went to see sexy Meshell Ndegeocello on Friday night at Zanzibar Blue with Mel, our friend Rob, and Rob's friend Fran. The chick rocked! Although they sat us like ready-to-slaughter cattle at the joint, and even though the people who sat to my left were annoying as hell, I still had a blast. Meshell and her band played 5 songs, and yeah, I felt cheated b'cuz for real, for real, nothing but the whole night would've been good for me, but I suppose the event was fairly priced.

The entertainment was wonderful and our company was great. I really wish I could say the same for the food. What the hell happened to the cuisine?!?! I don't remember ever thinking that the food was horrible at that place in the handful of times I've been there. As a matter of fact, when Steph was here a couple of years ago, we had dinner there with her and B.J. and I remember complementing their food. On Friday night, I had the crab cakes which were not awful, but for $25, they could've given me larger pieces. Mel had the chicken with the jambalaya which he absolutely hated. Then for dessert, I had the tiramisu and Mel had the creme brulee. The tiramisu to me tasted more like key lime cheesecake and Mel said the same thing about his. We left the joint thinking we'll never go back there for the food. Maybe for the entertainment, but never, ever for the food. Is the place really that bad, or are our tastes just getting better? Hmmm..

Afterwards, we went to our favorite shaky-butt place, the Crazy Horse Too. Our fave server, Ruby, was there and so was our favorite lap accessory, Vivian. She looked really nice as always. I'm telling you, that girl can get it! Mel and I had a blast like always, and it seemed like Rob and Fran did as well.

Well, I really gotta get started on this stupid Leadership paper that was due almost 2 weeks ago so 'til lata!

Rich White Trash

So the group of trash who rents the house across from us is at it full force. It is truly baffling to me how people who seem to have lots of money could act so classless. Actually, let me take that back. I've seen enough Lil' Kims in this world to know that money doesn't buy class. Anyway, few is known about the group of trash who lives across the street. The only things Mel and I know for sure are: there are at least 2 adults who live at the house and there doesn't seem to be any children, there's 1 dog (a King Charles Cavalier who would be soooo adorable to me if it didn't shit on our lawn), there are several luxury cars in use including a Porsche Cayenne, a BMW 7 something, a Corvette and a Hummer, they don't have class (as evidenced by classless acts such as having frog ornaments everywhere and leaving their garage door open 22 out of 24 hours), and the woman who lives there loves to tan and thinks she's still in her 20s (wake up, lady! you haven't been in your 20s for at least 30 years now!).

Anyway, their dog was roaming our lawn again today. This after I talked to the lady a few days ago about their dog shitting on our lawn. I love animals, but if it wasn't daylight, I swear I would've kicked the shit out of that pest. How does anyone think it's ok to have your dog just shit anywhere they want? It is so frustrating. Of course Mel was just as pissed me off as me so he walked across the street to tell the trashes about themselves. The lady was almost out of the house when Mel walked up to the door so he couldn't confront her the way he really wanted, but it was still fun to see her run across the street to retrieve the little pest. I stood in the door and just watched the bitch --- both of them. And the next time this shit happens, I guarantee that it's not going to be pretty. Those people are going to make North Philly come out of me, just you wait.

If, part II

I'm having a blast with the book "If", so here are more questions from it :)

If you could have lived through any war in history (without actually fighting in it), which would it be?
Probably World War II. No real great reason except it is the war which I am most familiar.

If you could eliminate any one type of insect permanently from the earth, what would you get rid of?
Definitely mosquitoes. I hate those blood-suckers!

If you had to eliminate a single type of animal forevermore, which would you choose?
No question, the snake. What are they good for anyway?


If you could have an elegant dinner alone with anyone presently alive, whether you know them or not, who would you want it to be?
It'll have to be the Junior Senator of Chicago, Mr. Barak Obama. He's intriguing and it definitely seems like he would be a good conversationalist. And plus, he is super foine!

If you could alter one physical characteristic of your mate, what would you change?
I would make it so that his arms are of normal and equal length. Besides the fact that it is a total b*tch buying him shirts because his arms are to the ground, his right arm is also longer than his left. Poor thang.

If you could dine alone with anyone from any period in history, which person would it be?
Frida Kahlo. She seems like total radness. It would be a total blast to hear her b*tch about Diego, and then afterwards seduce me with her unibrow.

If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?
I would be nicer to my maternal cousins. I held my paternal cousins in much higher regard than them because they were poor. But whatever they lacked in funds, they made up for in love and caring.

If you could have any room in the world become your bedroom from now on, which room would you choose?
I'm not really familiar with places because I haven't been any damn where, but I have seen Oprah's guest house and I think it is extremely grand, luxe and beautiful. So we'll say Oprah's guest house for now.

If you could change one thing in the world right now, what would you alter?
Animal cruelty would end.

If you had to assassinate one famous person who is alive right now, who would it be, and how would you do it?
Kristin Cavallari simply because nobody should be that beautiful and that rich without working at it. I would assassinate her by throwing a poisonous dart right through the middle of her forehead.

If you could permanently alter one thing about your physical appearance, what would you change?
I would always be a size 4.


If you could have stopped aging at any point in your life up to the present, how old would you want to remain?
28. Still not too old, but definitely not young anymore.


If you could inherit a comfortable home in any city in the world that you could use but not sell, where would you want it to be?
New York City, New York. I haven't been to too many places, but for me, nothing compares to New York.


If you could inherit a vacation home anywhere in the world in which you could spend one month a year, but that you could never sell, where would it be?
Saint Tropez. I visited it, virtually, the other day and it was superbly awesome!

If you could suddenly possess an extraordinary talent in one of the arts, what would you like it to be?
It would be music, playing the piano to be exact.

If you could be instantly fluent in one other language that you currently do not read or speak, which would it be?
French. Afterall, I'll need to speak to the natives when I vacation there for 1 month every year.

If

I went to Barnes and Noble today to pick up Philippine- or Filipino-based novels. To my dismay, B and N had none :( I guess I'll be ordering from Amazon.com --- they have the best selection!

So while I was at B and N, I perused the "Staff Recommends" section and came upon this book called "If... (Questions for the Game of Life)". It's a darling little book that poses "if" questions good for playing at parties or to simply get to know one's self better. My main purpose is the latter.

Here are a few questions:

If you were to be granted one wish, what would it be?
My wish is for everyone I love to die a peaceful, sudden death. Nothing could hurt me more than to see or think that any of my loved ones died a painful and lingering death.

If you could spend one whole night alone with anyone in the world who is currently alive, who would you select?
It's either because I haven't really given it much thought, or I really am thinking that this chick is super ultra cool right now, but that person is Diablo Cody. She's this super witty and articulate writer who became a stripper for a year and who wrote a book about it called Candy Girl. I just adore her this minute and think that her coolness would totally rub off on me if I were given the opportunity to spend the whole day with her. Am I like a groupie or what?

If you could spend one whole night alone with anyone in history, who would you choose?
I'm thinking for this one it would have to be Michael Jackson, pre-total-facial-implantation, circa 1984. Ok, fine, he's weird. But as weird as he is, there's enormous brilliance there. Plus, he seems like a totally nice fella. We could just sit around, talk, he could teach me how to moonwalk and then we could feed Bubba the chimp!

If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?
United Arab Emirates, for sure. From the photos I've seen, it looks like Vegas, only 100x better and not quite as cheesy. I'm not a big fan of Vegas per se, but I am a big fan of man-made marvels and UAE has plenty.

Well, I have to go for now. I have to get some sleep or else I would be even more useless at work tomorrow. Ciao!