Insomnia - A Good Reason To Write Again

It's 5 past 1 and I am still very much awake. My insomnia must be back again, or perhaps this could be the result of me taking a nap this afternoon. I don't know what it is, but lately I have needed to take naps in the middle of the day. Even at work, I try to get a nap in. Lately though I have been getting so dogged at work that I haven't been able to take an entire hour for lunch. I mean, I know I'm entitled to it and really I am a fool for not using it, but it's not courteous to leave another nurse to care for your patient who is really busy. I wouldn't like it done to me, so I don't do it to others.

Having been assigned such crappy patients at work has really turned me off to picking up extra time. I really should because it's never nice to turn down money (and lots of it), but goodgoddarn I really have been getting dogged lately! If I'm not taking care of F.F.F.F. (Frequently Flippen' Fat F*ck --- darling hubby's nickname for Mr. G) and another patient who is either crappen' every hour, on 4-point restraints and STILL able to climb out of bed, a fresh trauma, or sh*t, all of the above, I'm sure to have a patient on 1:1. This kind of patient is so sick, he or she is only assigned to one nurse. Ang guess what folks? That nurse is 9 out of 10 times me. I don't know what I have ever done to piss my co-workers, but darn if they don't love to give me the crappiest assignments!

This one particular nurse, we'll call him F.B. (Fag Boy --- Jackie's nickname for this flaming homosexual at work), especially loves to torture me. For instance, 3 weeks ago he gave me this 1:1 patient, a male multiple GSW (gun shot wound). When I received him, he was on 2 pressors, on 100% FiO2 on the vent, receiving multiple blood products and basically sick as sh*t. He was so sick and unstable that instead of going to the OR, the OR came to him. Yep folks, I became an OR nurse with about 30 minutes notice. Now, I've received post-op patients many times before and had an idea what goes on in the OR. Or so I thought. When faced with that situation, I felt helpless. I felt like I was totally not in control of my environment and was this close to crying. Every second, someone was barking out an order at you and I just felt like I couldn't keep up. To make matters worse, Drs. Bradley, Santora and Pathak (3 of our 4 SICU attendings) were all in the room! Talk about working under pressure here. In the end, I survived and learned a great deal from that experience, but dang if I didn't hate my job that day!

Well, I feel sleepiness creeping up on me. I'm going to bid adieu for now, but promise to write more later...